Those 3 little words

3 little words that can mean so many things. I like you. I love you. I miss you. I hate you. All start with I, all end with You. Their meanings can be so different. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. Saying I love you to family or friends. Saying I love you to a lover. Telling someone you miss them. Telling someone you love them, but you hate them. I have felt all 4 of those 3 word combinations. Sometimes I have said them, sometimes I've held it in.

I haven't made it a secret on here that I love J. I haven't uttered those words to him in months though. It's hard not saying it. I want to, but I'm afraid to, and that's a bit of a new feeling for me. I've always been pretty open with my feelings for the most part. I'm afraid to say it though, because he's already broken my heart. I have a feeling I'll be telling him soon though. I love you. Such powerful words. I'll end up telling him because I said another 3 word combination. I missed you. I picked him up from school today, which is pretty much the norm. I missed him this weekend, but was hesitant to tell him. Especially face to face. So after I dropped him off, I sent him a text saying that I missed him this weekend. Chances are I'll see him tomorrow, and if I do, there's a good chance he'll ask me why I missed him. My answer will be simple. Because I love you. Just because I haven't said the words in a long time, doesn't mean I don't still feel that way. I haven't stopped loving him, even through everything. I have hated him at some points, but it was more that I hated the fact that I loved him, even when I was hurting. I'm curious to see if he'll bring it up; I want him to so I can put the words back out there, even if I'm afraid too. I'm tired of holding them in. Maybe it'll push us to where we were before. Maybe I'll end up hurt, because he doesn't feel the same way. I really don't know. There aren't any guarantees in life, so I need to take the chance. I wish I could make some people see that. They don't understand why I want to be/am with J. Besides the answer of I love him, I would rather be happy with him, even temporarily, than hurting without him. There's always the chance of maybe, maybe we do have a shot at making this work, maybe we're supposed to be together, if only for right now. I don't know that whys of it. I have no clue if he feels the same why. I'm going in with my eyes wide open this time; I know my faults, I know his. I know a little bit better now how his mind works; the things he says might not always be true, but I think I've learned which words are truth, and which are stories. I know how to protect my heart a little bit more. It will still hurt if it gets broken, of course, but I'll know it was partially my fault for going back. And if he does break  my heart again, well, maybe "I" will be around, and maybe we can see were that goes.

Billy Currington
I got a feeling

I don't wanna rush this thing
I don't wanna jump the gun
I really wanna say those three little words
But I'm gonna bite my tongue

Yeah, I'm just gonna lay on back
Leave it on cruise control
I'm gonna hold it all inside
Till the right time comes down the road

[Chorus:]
I got a feeling
My head's a reeling
My heart is screaming
I'm about to bust loose
Bottled up emotion
It's more than a notion
It starts with an "I"
And ends with a "U"
I got a feeling
Are you feeling it too

I guess I've all but said it now
So much for hoping you'd go first
Don't leave me hanging out here on a line
Baby, it's your turn
Say you couldn't sleep last night
[ Billy Currington Lyrics are found on www.getlyrics.com ]
Swore that you could feel me breathe
Had you wanting me there by your side
Yeah, baby I know what you mean

[Second Chorus:]
I got a feeling
My heads a reeling
My heart is screeming
I'm about to bust loose
Bottled up emotion
It's more than a notion
It starts with an "I"
And ends with a "U"
I get a feeling
You're feeling it too

Bottle up emotion
It's more than a notion
It starts with an "I"
And ends with a "U"
I got a feeling
You're feeling it too
You're feeling it too
Yeah, you're feeling it too
Feeling it too
Oh, Yeah