Things lost

Something happened last Friday  "I", but I can't really go into the details. I had fun, and I felt happy. And then I found something out yesterday that pretty much knocked me on my ass. It's not something that I was expecting to hear, and combined with friday, left me feeling pretty shocked. Have you ever had your opinion of someone change in an instant? Where you find out they did something you never thought that they would do/ That's what happened. And I asked him about it today, and his response was that it just happened. He sent me that via text. As soon as I got that I had the weirdest feeling that I just lost an important part of my life, and I have no clue what to do about it. I make it a point to not regret anything that I do, but if I did lose that piece of my life, I will regret asking him. Not worth losing a friend over, even though it was important that I asked. I feel stuck, and I want to fix it but I can't. And I did nothing wrong, but I feel like I'm in the wrong. I guess that's what years of people making you feel like crap will do. Even when I know I did nothing wrong, I feel like it's my fault. It's why I don't think I'm worth more. Oh, I'll say that I deserve better, but deep down, I don't really believe it. Deep down, I wonder why and how anyone could like me, or find me attractive, "I" is one of the few people of the opposite sex who has never made me feel those things, and I don't want to lose that. He has a girlfriend/. Fine, then we'll be just friends. I'd much rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all. I wonder though, if he realizes how much he actually means to me, and that he has always been more than just a hook up to me. I wish I knew how to fix this.... :(



Don't say a wordI know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you want to stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything say anything
Some say that
Time changesBest friends can
Become strangers
But I don't want that
No not for you